Hephaestus, Hebe’s half-brother, was married to Aphrodite, Goddess of Beauty and All Things Sensual… especially Love. Hebe was completely devoted to her brother and had always called him Hefe. Hefe was lame and ugly, but the Young don’t care about things like that. She adored him. He had been disfigured when he was thrown from Mt. Olympus. Many stories have been written to explain his exile, but my source was actually there. Hebe said the entire household heard her mother screaming that night. 

Hera was raging at Zeus. Yes – again, but this time was different. Hebe had never seen her mother so angry. She wasn’t even jealous this time. It was political. Zeus had just birthed Athena. Hera had assumed her marriage to Zeus assured her son Ares would be Zeus’ heir. Every other one of Zeus’ brats had a mother, Hera thought, making them illegitimate. Not Athena, she was all Zeus. This time Zeus could press his omnipotence by declaring HIS only child to be HIS only heir. Zeus had betrayed them! Hera was furious.  

Hebe slipped into the room unseen and hid behind a tapestry her mother had picked up at an auction. Hiding there, she heard her mother bellow, ”I’ll just make MY own heir!” Zeus tried to explain, to talk her out of it, to make her understand… Hera listened like a stone statue. Zeus tried to clarify – he hadn’t even made Athena alone. He just swallowed her mother…  

 

Hera could not be swayed, though. She was determined to show Zeus she didn’t need him either. Hera might have been able to do it, too. But, she was angry. She seduced some forgotten god and tried to swallow him, but he was too strong. The failure only made her rage more. Hefe never had a chance. In the insanity, Hera demanded the axe Zeus had used and struck her own head. The gash was insufficient, though. Frustrated, yet again, she reached into the wound, grabbed Hefe’s foot and pulled him from her head. The rest is histor… mythology. She had crushed his little foot in her giant, angry hand and he came out lame. She was disgusted and threw him away. Literally. She threw him off Mt. Olympus. His face hit the earth. After that, he was ugly too. And Hebe loved him without reserve. 



Aphrodite was, of course, very beautiful. But, she was best known for her affections. She was the goddess of sensual things. Therefore, her touch was the most sensual feeling ever experienced. That is why every god asked for Aphrodite’s hand in marriage. Zeus mulled this decision. It was very important. Many of her suitors were quite strong. Zeus feared a rebellion if he chose poorly. So, he gave her to Hephaestus. Hefe was very powerful, quick tempered and extremely jealous in nature. He would make the perfect ally. That Aphrodite was not pleased meant little to Zeus. 

 

Her only way to rebel was to withhold affections from her husband. She always complained that he was too dirty and grimy from his duties as the god of blacksmiths and metal work in the forge all day. Hefe was desperate. He begged his young sister to make something for him. Hebe created puMIGHT, our all natural, mechanic’s degreaser. Aphrodite never refused him again. With puMIGHT, his grimy, grease covered hands transformed to a velvet touch that rivaled her own. Of course, she continued to stray. Her dalliances were the stuff of legend. But, she never declined her husband’s advances again.